Drugs are bad.....ummkay?

As a rock star I am constantly being offered drugs, or asked if I have any that other people can score. The answer is always no. I have been approached by people with this sort of thing on their minds at every show I have ever played in a particular bar here in Brandon. Sometimes I get approached by the same people more than once. I guess drug use messes with your memory. If I told you no last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, why do you think things will be different this time? Don't get me wrong, I'm not a total anti-drug crusader or anything. It's just not for me. If you feel like shortening your life and damaging your brain and possibly doing something really stupid, feel free. I'll stick to my beer and cigarettes.(which I am trying to quit, cigarettes anyway. Give up beer? Never!) I have played with many musicians over the years, some were potheads, some were alcoholics, some were just regular people. Without question I have seen drugs and alcohol ruin an other wise talented musician. It happens all the time. It's sad, yes and completely avoidable. Sometimes however, drugs and alcohol can make for some pretty damned amusing times while "on the road".

We were playing in Boissevain a number of years ago. We had arrived early and gotten checked into our rooms before going to the bar to set up. Our guitar player at the time was a fairly serious pothead. Chronic, if you will. While in the room I was sharing with him he produced a baggie and proceeded to cut and chop some "high grade mary jane" in preparation to pack a bowl. We ended up getting called to the bar to deal with some minor PA issue so he carefully laid his stash to rest on a magazine cover and slid it into the small night stand between the beds. PA problem solved I return to my room. Our bass player joins me for a chat and to just hang out. Pot head guitar player is delayed somewhere and not back to his stash. Bass player is a car guy. A bigtime MOPAR or no car kind of gear head. He spies a magazine on the shelf. A car magazine. He grabs said magazine and quickly pulls it out of it's hiding place and gives it a good strong flick before starting to thumb through it. I am sitting there, mouth agape at what has just happened. Bass player is wondering what the problem is. I start to chuckle, then full on belly laugh. Bass player is really confused now. No idea what's going on. I explain to him that guitar players stash was sitting on that magazine waiting to be attended to and enjoyed. The remainder of said stash would then be repacked in the baggie for enjoyment at a later time. This of course was now going to be very difficult for guitar player to do as the entire stash was now on the carpet. The deep GREEN shag carpet. Bass player looked shocked at first. An, "Oh my God, What have I done" sort of look. This was quickly replaced by the "He shouldn't have left his stuff just laying around like that" look. I resumed my laughter.

Guitar player has now returned to the room and spies bass player leafing through the aforementioned magazine. I am trying to play it cool as we have decided to pretend nothing happened.
"Where did you get that?" questions guitar player.
"Right here on the table" states bass player.
"Did you move my stuff?" questions guitar player.
"Which stuff would that be?" questions bass player.
"Bwahahahahahahahahah!" says I. At this point guitar player has come to the conclusion that we are messing with him.
"Where is my stuff?" he queries in a ha ha very funny sort of way.
"There" I say while pointing to the floor and drying the tears from my eyes.
Slowly the realization of what has occurred comes over guitar player's face. Followed by anger and yelling. A lot of yelling. Profanity and claims of "you owe me this much" and threats of violence. And more laughter from me. Bass player makes his point about maybe not leaving your prized pot just laying around. I have to agree it was not the brightest move on guitar players part. Then again, when are potheads known to be very bright anyway?

Cooler heads prevailed and there was no violence. Bass player apologized but did not offer to repay or replace the spilt ganja. Guitar player got over his loss by scoring more from a local. I continued to laugh about the whole thing for most of the week-end. I guess drugs can be good after all. Good entertainment for those of us who are not on them and don't care what happens to them. I still see guitar player around town every now and then. He's still a pot head as far as I know. Bass player is still my best friend and playing in my current band. He's still a car guy who reads car magazines without checking for pot first. I still find the whole situation very funny.