Common Misconceptions About Small Time Rock Bands
I have been playing in bar bands for about 17 years now and consider myself somewhat of an expert on the subject. Therefore I thought I'd take this opportunity to clear up a few myths about small time bar bands. Enjoy.
1 - We do NOT all play "Thunderstruck".
There are millions and millions of songs in the world. It is not possible for every band to know and play them all. "Thunderstruck" is a very popular song by AC/DC. People love AC/DC and it is a good idea for any cover band to play at least one or two AC/DC songs. That being said, "Thunderstruck" is not one that every one can do. The guitar part is complicated and the only man alive that can sing like that without a lot of pain is Brian Johnson. I can not sing "thunderstruck". I can not sing a lot of things but this one is nigh impossible. The AC/DC song we play was originally recorded by the band with their original lead singer, Bon Scott. Still very difficult to sing but nowhere near as bad as anything Mr. Johnson has recorded. Still the song is requested at nearly every show we play. I can remember one particular request very clearly. We were on stage at the Carberry Motor Inn and rocking out having a great time. I was lost in the moment and had my eyes closed while banging my head and just grooving to the song we were playing. The song ended and I opened my eyes to see the world's largest human being standing on the stage, directly in front of me. He looked down at me and said in a very deep, menacing, drunken slur, "Play Thunderstruck". After making sure I had not soiled myself I broke it to him as gently as possible that we did not in fact know the song. He was angry and I was nervous but I placated him with a lie. "We will definitely learn it and play it for you next time we're in town, I promise." This may sound like a bad idea but you have to remember one thing. Drunk people have very short memories. You can tell them anything and they'll likely have no clue about it the next time you see them. We were not going to be back at this particular venue for at least a couple of months so I figured this was my safest course of action. The next time we played there the same guy was back but never asked to hear "Thunderstruck" at all. I don't think he remembered us at all. He was also sober and no where near as menacing this time around either. We do not know every song ever written and therefore may not be able to play your request. Please keep this in mind when going to see a band at your local bar. Some songs we just can't play and some we choose not to. Do you really need to hear "Brown Eyed Girl" or "Old Time Rock and Roll" again anyway?
2 -We do it all for the chicks.
HAHAHAHA. People seem to have a belief that all musicians are just out to get laid. I have been singing for a number of different bands for a long time and have played many, many, many shows over the last 17 years and I have hooked up with a girl exactly 0 times. 0. None. Never. Now this may be due to the fact that I am not the worlds most attractive guy but I don't think so. It's mainly because I didn't want to. Any girl willing to give it up to a total stranger just because he's in a band is likely not "new to the scene" if you catch my drift. Sure, a lot of band guys will take advantage of a drunk and willing female but a lot of them usually end up at a doctor's office the Monday following the gig, trying to get rid of whatever memento he brought home to remember his conquest by. Think about it. If she's willing to do you, she probably did the last band guy too. Most likely the guy before that as well. I will not lie, I have been tempted over the years. I have had what I considered to be very attractive women basically throw themselves at me but I have turned them all down. Politely of course, I am a nice guy after all. Some have been a little too young for me, some too old. Most of them too drunk and too willing or too scary. We were mingling with the crowd after a show one time and a very drunk, very friendly "cougar" for lack of a better word, approached us. At the time there were five of us in the band and we had a two man crew with us as well. She invited us back to her place where she had a hot tub that seated...pause while she visibly counts us all and points to herself last....8. Ummm, thanks but no thanks. We politely declined, then attempted to make ourselves scarce as she was quite persistent. Our drummer was seen leaving with her and another girl later in the evening but he was a bit of a slut and kinda drunk himself. When he returned to the hotel he would not speak of his adventure and was visibly shaken by the whole thing. We of course made sure we bugged him about the whole ordeal mercilessly for a long time. That's what band mates and friends are for. To this day I still shudder when I think what might have happened had all 7 of us taken her up on her offer.
3 -We all make a lot of money.
Ummm, no. We don't. Rock bands don't make money unless they have a huge record deal and are touring all over the world. The odds of a band playing covers in your local, small town bar being discovered and getting a record deal based off their cover of "Born To Be Wild" are very, very slim. Yes rock bands get paid to play a week-end at your local bar. We are not exactly raking it in however. The average week-end gig can pay anywhere from $800 to $1200 for two or three nights. That doesn't sound too bad you say. A four piece band can still come away with $200 to $300 each at the end of it all. HA! Not bloody likely. Most people fail to consider that the band is not from the town they are playing in. Therefore there are travel expenses involved in getting to the gig. More often than not, the band will have rented the PA gear they are using. More expenses. That gear needs to get to the show as well so sometimes a truck or trailer will need to be rented. More expenses. These expenses add up. I have played shows where we were paid well and ended up owing money at the end of the week-end. Shit happens. There are often unexpected expenses. Your guitar player will not be paying attention and get the rental truck full of gear hung up when he drives over a snow bank that is covering a three foot drop behind a cement wall. Tow trucks aren't cheap. Or perhaps all the gear is loaded and the rest of the band has left and are on the way home when you and the bass player lock yourselves out of a running vehicle. On a Sunday. In a small town where you are strangers and everyone thinks your rich. The guy with the ability to get you back in your car will no doubt assume he can charge you whatever he wants to get you on your way. Thankfully the bass player in question is a big man like myself and the two of us were not easily intimidated so we only paid a little bit more than we should have.
So to reiterate...we do NOT make a lot of money doing what we do. We make very little money actually. The real money is in country music, but who wants to play that?
4 -We are all pot heads
Not really, no. Sure some band guys are also potheads but in my experience, most are not. Hell, I know some who don't even drink. A lot of people assume that because you are in a band then you either have or are looking for drugs of some kind. Every single time I have played with a band at the City Centre Hotel here in Brandon I have been approached by someone looking to buy drugs from me or sell drugs to me. I do not partake. Most people who know me, know this. However, I am usually a stranger to most people when we are out playing a show. Especially out of town shows. Without fail someone will ask me to go and get high with them before or after a set. No thanks. Buy me a beer if you want and I'll gladly accept it and talk to you for a while. I don't want or need drugs though. High people do stupid things and have a very distorted view of their current reality. I have been around enough musicians to know that getting high does NOT make you a better guitar player, singer, etc. I have heard many people over the years tell me that they "play better when they are high". No, you don't. You are also not better when you are falling down drunk. Being high and or drunk do NOT make you more creative either. Maybe you thought your improvised guitar solo in that last song was pure musical genius but trust me, it was not. I take great pride in what I do and consider myself to be pretty good at it. I know that when I've had a few too many beers before a show, that show is going to suck. Sure any one else who may be drunk or high is not going to notice and they will no doubt think that I am the best singer ever. These people are also wrong. Yes I am very good and maybe I am the best singer you've ever heard live, but you're high. Your opinion means nothing because you didn't actually hear me properly. Besides, if I were high I might actually consider singing "Thunderstruck" and that would not be good. At all.
These are just a few of the common misconceptions about small time bar bands. I hope I've cleared up a few things for you so that next time you go out to your local bar to see a band, you can appreciate it a little bit more. I will no doubt revisit this topic in the future but for now...you've been...THUNDERSTRUCK!!
1 - We do NOT all play "Thunderstruck".
There are millions and millions of songs in the world. It is not possible for every band to know and play them all. "Thunderstruck" is a very popular song by AC/DC. People love AC/DC and it is a good idea for any cover band to play at least one or two AC/DC songs. That being said, "Thunderstruck" is not one that every one can do. The guitar part is complicated and the only man alive that can sing like that without a lot of pain is Brian Johnson. I can not sing "thunderstruck". I can not sing a lot of things but this one is nigh impossible. The AC/DC song we play was originally recorded by the band with their original lead singer, Bon Scott. Still very difficult to sing but nowhere near as bad as anything Mr. Johnson has recorded. Still the song is requested at nearly every show we play. I can remember one particular request very clearly. We were on stage at the Carberry Motor Inn and rocking out having a great time. I was lost in the moment and had my eyes closed while banging my head and just grooving to the song we were playing. The song ended and I opened my eyes to see the world's largest human being standing on the stage, directly in front of me. He looked down at me and said in a very deep, menacing, drunken slur, "Play Thunderstruck". After making sure I had not soiled myself I broke it to him as gently as possible that we did not in fact know the song. He was angry and I was nervous but I placated him with a lie. "We will definitely learn it and play it for you next time we're in town, I promise." This may sound like a bad idea but you have to remember one thing. Drunk people have very short memories. You can tell them anything and they'll likely have no clue about it the next time you see them. We were not going to be back at this particular venue for at least a couple of months so I figured this was my safest course of action. The next time we played there the same guy was back but never asked to hear "Thunderstruck" at all. I don't think he remembered us at all. He was also sober and no where near as menacing this time around either. We do not know every song ever written and therefore may not be able to play your request. Please keep this in mind when going to see a band at your local bar. Some songs we just can't play and some we choose not to. Do you really need to hear "Brown Eyed Girl" or "Old Time Rock and Roll" again anyway?
2 -We do it all for the chicks.
HAHAHAHA. People seem to have a belief that all musicians are just out to get laid. I have been singing for a number of different bands for a long time and have played many, many, many shows over the last 17 years and I have hooked up with a girl exactly 0 times. 0. None. Never. Now this may be due to the fact that I am not the worlds most attractive guy but I don't think so. It's mainly because I didn't want to. Any girl willing to give it up to a total stranger just because he's in a band is likely not "new to the scene" if you catch my drift. Sure, a lot of band guys will take advantage of a drunk and willing female but a lot of them usually end up at a doctor's office the Monday following the gig, trying to get rid of whatever memento he brought home to remember his conquest by. Think about it. If she's willing to do you, she probably did the last band guy too. Most likely the guy before that as well. I will not lie, I have been tempted over the years. I have had what I considered to be very attractive women basically throw themselves at me but I have turned them all down. Politely of course, I am a nice guy after all. Some have been a little too young for me, some too old. Most of them too drunk and too willing or too scary. We were mingling with the crowd after a show one time and a very drunk, very friendly "cougar" for lack of a better word, approached us. At the time there were five of us in the band and we had a two man crew with us as well. She invited us back to her place where she had a hot tub that seated...pause while she visibly counts us all and points to herself last....8. Ummm, thanks but no thanks. We politely declined, then attempted to make ourselves scarce as she was quite persistent. Our drummer was seen leaving with her and another girl later in the evening but he was a bit of a slut and kinda drunk himself. When he returned to the hotel he would not speak of his adventure and was visibly shaken by the whole thing. We of course made sure we bugged him about the whole ordeal mercilessly for a long time. That's what band mates and friends are for. To this day I still shudder when I think what might have happened had all 7 of us taken her up on her offer.
3 -We all make a lot of money.
Ummm, no. We don't. Rock bands don't make money unless they have a huge record deal and are touring all over the world. The odds of a band playing covers in your local, small town bar being discovered and getting a record deal based off their cover of "Born To Be Wild" are very, very slim. Yes rock bands get paid to play a week-end at your local bar. We are not exactly raking it in however. The average week-end gig can pay anywhere from $800 to $1200 for two or three nights. That doesn't sound too bad you say. A four piece band can still come away with $200 to $300 each at the end of it all. HA! Not bloody likely. Most people fail to consider that the band is not from the town they are playing in. Therefore there are travel expenses involved in getting to the gig. More often than not, the band will have rented the PA gear they are using. More expenses. That gear needs to get to the show as well so sometimes a truck or trailer will need to be rented. More expenses. These expenses add up. I have played shows where we were paid well and ended up owing money at the end of the week-end. Shit happens. There are often unexpected expenses. Your guitar player will not be paying attention and get the rental truck full of gear hung up when he drives over a snow bank that is covering a three foot drop behind a cement wall. Tow trucks aren't cheap. Or perhaps all the gear is loaded and the rest of the band has left and are on the way home when you and the bass player lock yourselves out of a running vehicle. On a Sunday. In a small town where you are strangers and everyone thinks your rich. The guy with the ability to get you back in your car will no doubt assume he can charge you whatever he wants to get you on your way. Thankfully the bass player in question is a big man like myself and the two of us were not easily intimidated so we only paid a little bit more than we should have.
So to reiterate...we do NOT make a lot of money doing what we do. We make very little money actually. The real money is in country music, but who wants to play that?
4 -We are all pot heads
Not really, no. Sure some band guys are also potheads but in my experience, most are not. Hell, I know some who don't even drink. A lot of people assume that because you are in a band then you either have or are looking for drugs of some kind. Every single time I have played with a band at the City Centre Hotel here in Brandon I have been approached by someone looking to buy drugs from me or sell drugs to me. I do not partake. Most people who know me, know this. However, I am usually a stranger to most people when we are out playing a show. Especially out of town shows. Without fail someone will ask me to go and get high with them before or after a set. No thanks. Buy me a beer if you want and I'll gladly accept it and talk to you for a while. I don't want or need drugs though. High people do stupid things and have a very distorted view of their current reality. I have been around enough musicians to know that getting high does NOT make you a better guitar player, singer, etc. I have heard many people over the years tell me that they "play better when they are high". No, you don't. You are also not better when you are falling down drunk. Being high and or drunk do NOT make you more creative either. Maybe you thought your improvised guitar solo in that last song was pure musical genius but trust me, it was not. I take great pride in what I do and consider myself to be pretty good at it. I know that when I've had a few too many beers before a show, that show is going to suck. Sure any one else who may be drunk or high is not going to notice and they will no doubt think that I am the best singer ever. These people are also wrong. Yes I am very good and maybe I am the best singer you've ever heard live, but you're high. Your opinion means nothing because you didn't actually hear me properly. Besides, if I were high I might actually consider singing "Thunderstruck" and that would not be good. At all.
These are just a few of the common misconceptions about small time bar bands. I hope I've cleared up a few things for you so that next time you go out to your local bar to see a band, you can appreciate it a little bit more. I will no doubt revisit this topic in the future but for now...you've been...THUNDERSTRUCK!!
posted by The Big FUGR at
10:20 AM
5 Comments:
Let it be known that although Thunderstruck might be #1, I hear Safety Dance is #2, and I also understand it is way easier to play...
Secondly there are many people that tell me that my singing improves with beers.
Third, I think SDSN, I mean mama d is hitting on you.
And last, I don't think you are pretty darn attractive, but I've always wanted to stroke your hair after you are fresh out of the shower. I mean, I heard Iron Mike, tell Gerb, who told KT, who told me that it's a sight to behold.
I can't believe you posted my inner most fantasies on the internet mr.122. It's all a lie.
Mr.122 isn't your name supposed to be mr.144?
Gerb,
Shh! Don't give away my identity!
mr.122
Hey mr.122, when they tell you that your singing improves with beers, are they drinking the beers or are you? Points to ponder.
Mama d, back off my man!! ;)
And as for the rockstar's own comments, I would just like to confirm that no, there is definitely not much money to be made in the small town rock world. However, ladies (and gentlemen) if you are considering taking up with a musician, for the love of cold hard cash, pick a singer. They're far cheaper as they tend to beg for far less gear. Trish, Sandra, my heart goes out to you!
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